Road trip

Yesterday we made the trip down to visit the in-laws. Beautiful sunshine at home, clouding over as we travelled south.

The kids are busy on Saturday mornings so this was an afternoon journey. Despite expectations to the contrary the traffic wasn't too bad, although to be fair I did snooze through the worst bits. If you can manage to stay awake on long car journeys I salute you. I can't. At least not when it's a well-known route. When we're exploring new places and seeing new things I'm all over it. When I know where I'm going I'm out like a light after 15 minutes on a motorway. Is that just me?

Anyway, a few hours and a comfort stop later we arrived for a 3-night stay. I hadn't realised quite how quiet things could be at home without my voice until I had this bad dose of laryngitis. It's continuing here, with an extremely hushed evening meal. The only conversation seemed to be about how people missed my conversation. Funny how you can get talked about, and not to, when you're sitting right there. It felt a little like going to my own funeral!

The upside of not talking is time to concentrate on being creative. Since meeting Lucy of Attic 24 at Black Sheep Wools a little while back I've had a pack of wool and her neat ripple pattern just waiting for a break between projects. This is that time, and I'm so excited to finally be making a start. When I explained to Lucy how new I am to crochet (7 weeks now) and the very few projects I've done (3 hats, a blanket, a scarf and a multitude of granny squares) and the stitches I've used (although I've learnt through YouTube with US terminology) she reassured me that I'd be able to handle the blanket pattern. She said it was quite a nice one to get into a rhythm with, and she was not wrong.

When the pattern said chain 213 my heart sank a little. The chaining is easy but I find that working that first row into the chain is so fiddly. It wasn't too bad in the end, and now I'm into the rows of pattern I'm absolutely loving it. I managed 6 rows yesterday, so 3 beautifully wavy bands of colour are ready and waiting to be added to this morning. Doesn't it just make your heart feel happy to see a project start to take shape?!

I'm working on this while I'm here, I'm in the middle of a quilt project at home, and I've got a writing day retreat next weekend to really get to grips with an idea and wrestle into shape, so this Easter break I am all about creativity.

I hope you're able to find time to feed your soul and be creative.

It's not quitting...

I started NaPoWriMo in order to make myself write something every day. Poems don't have to be long, and I really like the feeling of actually completing something, so it was the perfect choice.

In just 5 days I've had something of a revelation.

I do enjoy writing poetry. Sometimes it is the perfect way to express a thought, a feeling, a moment. Sometimes it helps me to kick-start a writing habit that has a tendency to stall through longer projects. Sometimes it just makes me happy.

Poetry clearly needs to go on a diet though, because it has a huge butt. But.

The trouble is I have a passion. A passion project if you will. It sits in the back of my mind and on several notebook pages and paper scraps. It's in pieces, story shards, and from time to time I try to find the words to glue them together. It can't  make up its mind whether it's a book or a script but it is definitely a something, and I'm going back to it today.

So thank you NaPoWriMo, you've got me scribbling daily and I'm grateful for that. I'll look in on you from time to time when the blank pages feel overwhelming and I need a prompt to get me writing again.

5 times when quitting isn't quitting.

1. It did its job.
Hurrah! If it's done what you needed it to do then celebrate the achievement.

2. It didn't work.
Not everything works for everyone. Not everybody gets the same result with the same action. If you find it just doesn't suit you then move on and find something that does.

3. You found a better way.
In the midst of trying to stick to a way of doing things did you stumble across an alternative that works better for you? Fantastic!

4. It's distracting you from your real purpose.
You started it because you thought it would help you move towards a goal but it actually takes up your time and energy that could be more effectively directed. No harm, no foul. Refocus. You've got this.

5. Emergency!
Life happens. We all have our Chicken Licken moments when the sky is falling in.  Don't beat yourself up if things get in the way of your progress. An enforced break does not mean that you have to give up on your dreams. Take a breath and get back to it!

Something sad

Day 4, and I'm having my usual reaction to the prompt.

Actually no, I'm having a real pushback against this one. Something sad? I don't believe in spreading doom and gloom.

Ok.

Something sad without emotive language.

Alone

Yesterday's cold tea half-fills a green mug.
A book lies face down, open,
Its spine marking a memory of pages read
and those that will never be seen.

The clock ticks away seconds,
Chimes the hours with no-one now to hear.
This morning's post sits on the mat
But it will not be read.

Photographs line the walls;
Loved ones, holidays, weddings and parties.
Signs of a life lived fully
And with love.

She slumps in the chair,
Eyes half closed. Glassy.
No breath disturbs the air.
All is quiet.

Time

I suppose at least this one has got me thinking. NaPoWriMo Day 3 - something that happens over any appreciable length of time. Yep, it's got me thinking that I should've participated in Camp Nano instead.

Maybe it's just that immediate I-have-no-thoughts reaction to a difficult question. I think I'll have to let this one steep awhile. I'll be back.

Perennial

I saw you in the bright days
Standing tall
Blue brighter than the sky

I watched as cold winds curled you
And you retreated
From the too-short days and bitter nights

Endless waiting
No sign
Nothing to show a life in stasis

Each day bare

Empty

I stopped watching for you
Stopped expecting
Stopped

Other friendships formed
Dancing yellow in the brightening breeze
I had forgotten you

Until you sent a message
Tentative
Tender

A promise

I will see you again

-×-

That delphinium was truly beautiful last summer. It's currently romping away in its pot by the door and I'm just hoping we don't get a nasty cold spell to upset it.

That's me done for today. I'm off to be creative in other ways. Happy writing!

Day 2

So what do you do when a prompt doesn't spark any feeling of creativity?

For me this is what day 2 feels like.

Yes, the prompts are optional. Yes, I could write something else instead. I'm not going to though. I'm going to take that Day 2 prompt and make myself write something.

Personally, participating in NaPoWriMo is less about the poetry produced than it is about putting pen to paper on a daily basis. It really helps to accept that everything is a very rough first draft, and to know that it doesn't have to be 1,666 words a day to keep on schedule.

"But shouldn't this be fun?" I hear you ask. Of course it should, but for me (and, I suspect, for many of us) there is another purpose: that of creating some kind of writerly discipline. Writing every day sometimes feels like the impossible dream when life is so full of, well, life.  Writing when it feels hard is just not an option on a time limit, but that is precisely what needs to change.

So, you want something ending in a question?

Blank

Type tiptoes hesitantly across the page
Then scurries backwards to the start line.

Blink

Blink Blank

Blink

I can wait all day
The watching cursor insists.

Blink

Blink

Anythingjusttoshutitup

Words spew onto the screen
Only to be deleted
Moments later.

More unwriting than writing done.

Will an idea ever come?

NaPoWriMo

I wasn't going to join in with NaPoWriMo but the prompt for day 1 was a little too tempting. If you're playing along too, have fun!

My instructions:

To Make a Quilt

Pieces
Cut smaller
And smaller still,
Remnants of past lives.
Damp shorts covered in sand,
Swirling party dress, sparkling in the light,
That crazy shirt you wore the night we met;
Snippets of memories
You can hold in your hand for a moment
Or more.

Stitch them together with the thread of life,
Join seconds to minutes and hours to make a day,
Use a quarter inch seam,
Press to the dark side
So it doesn't spoil the light.

Arrange your days
In a vibrant pattern
To create the larger blocks of months and years.
No waste.
No scrap too small.

Now that piecing is complete it's time to baste, quilt and bind.
Wrap yourself in your creation.
Make it beautiful.