Hitting 50

When your significant other has a significant birthday you want to make it special for them. When mine hit 50 I just wanted to stop him becoming a grumpy old man.

Seriously, the moaning and groaning about getting old started long before the birthday itself was in sight. To counter the depressing attitude to the passing of time I decided to give him something to look forward to. I'd heard of the 50 things idea when a radio presenter was given 50 things to do in his 50th year by his listeners and colleagues. How fabulous! We could keep him busy with almost 1 "thing" each week and he would see his 50th birthday as a positive.

A word to the wise - if you decide to do this, curate your list of 50 things very carefully. Here are my top tips for creating the gift that keeps on giving:

1 Make it personal
Fill the list with 50 things that actually mean something to the recipient. It could involve trying something they've always wanted to do, visiting a place that has special meaning for them, or indulging themselves with time for a favourite activity.

2 Get help
Ask friends or family for ideas, but only those who will keep it under their hat. You want it to be a surprise. My husband knew he was getting a list of things to do but had no idea what they would be. His work colleagues suggested stress-busting activities like mountain biking and yoga, and his dad proposed a trip to a home game of his current favourite football team. (I say current favourite because he finds them exciting and frustrating in equal measure and often ends the season saying he needs to give up supporting them.)

3 Add a challenge or 2
No, I don't mean bungee jumping! Not unless it's something they've always wanted to do. This is supposed to give them joy, not scare them to death. For him this was little things like 'eat a doughnut' and 'spend a day doing nothing' (seriously, the man can't sit still!) which took him slightly out of his comfort zone but were always intended to be positive experiences.

4 Add it up!
Although I did make sure that most of the things were either free or of minimal cost I didn't actually sit down and work out how much the whole list would cost. Admittedly the expenditure is spread out over the year, but it can all mount up if you're not careful. Visits to the opera and to castles, football, an 80's concert and Harry Potter World all cost something, and they won't be doing them on their own.

5 Timing is everything
Do keep in mind that you want to fit these things into a year. Yes, it only averages out at around 1 a week but it may not always be possible to fit everything in with other commitments. Some of his didn't take up extra time, like the doughnut thing and being vegetarian for a month, but some, like hiking up Snowdon, require setting aside some time. As it happens his 50 things will roll on into his 51st year, but he will just get to enjoy it all for longer.

6 Link it up
Try to link some of the activities if you can. Visiting Harry Potter World and drinking butter beer were clearly going to be done on the same day. Going camping and making smores can definitely overlap.

7 Do it together
I tried to include things that could be done together, either as a family experience or as a couple. He went to the football with his sister, and my mum will be teaching him to knit. He'll play chess with our son, our daughter will teach him to play a different tune on the piano (he knows only one) and he'll be mountain biking with friends from work.

8 Do some good
I added a couple of things for others. 'Give blood' is a good one, as is 'perform a random act of kindness' which was actually one of his favourites and made him keen to keep doing it.

9 Keep it positive
Use the list to encourage them to spend time doing things they love but perhaps don't prioritise in their busy life. Let them learn a new skill or try something they've always wanted to do. Don't make it pressured, don't make it hectic, don't cause them stress. Remember, this is a gift!

10 Make memories
Give them a notebook to keep a diary of doing their 50 things, take pictures, make videos, create a scrapbook. However you choose to record it give them a year to remember and make that milestone birthday a really happy one!

Have you done something different to mark a milestone birthday?
What would you put in a list of 50 things?

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